The Trainee Badge of Courage

You hear it all the time: "Bastard freeloaders!  Despicable! I'd flip burgers at McDonald's before I'd accept government handouts!"

McDonald's: The Most Embarrassing Place on Earth. Comedian Jim Gaffigan even has a bit about it, how if you run into someone you know at McDonald's, you immediately tell them you're meeting a prostitute, not ordering food.  It is the butt end of every joke.  The food you deny eating.  The job so humiliating that it's the last resort before an EBT card.  Or not.

Those people who say they'd rather flip burgers at McDonald's than go on the dole: Do you think they mean it?

I hope so.  Because, ladies and gentlemen, it looks like I will soon be asking you if you want fries with that.  Well, fries usually come with "that' these days.  I think now it's standard practice to ask about the two apple pies for a buck deal.  Whatever it is, I will soon know.   And I will soon be asking you that very question.  Because when I said I'd flip burgers at McDonald's before I'd accept government handouts, I meant it.  And fate is giving me an opportunity to put my money where my mouth is.

I have a lot of friends who, like me, are conservatives.  Unlike me, they have advanced degrees, and six figure salaries.  I wonder what will happen at the next faculty function or dinner party, when they are introducing me to their friends, and I face the inevitable question, "And what do you do, Brenda?"

And I admit it.  I am not relishing the thought either.  (Hee hee.  I said "relish."  I'm guessing we'll cover that in condiment training.)  But no, I'm not looking forward to telling a roomful of Ph.D's that I'm "...currently working the drive-thru window, but hope to be named shift leader in a few months."  I'm ashamed of having such a menial job.

But why am I ashamed?  I have some pretty well documented health issues.  I easily qualify for SSDI, and could make more money sitting home with my kids than I will make at the poster child of menial jobs.  But I'm not doing it.  I am not asking anyone to pay my way.  I am choosing to flip burgers on any shift that is open, so that I can keep a roof over my family's head, and food on our table.

The only thing a conservative capitalist like me should be ashamed of, is being ashamed.  So here it is:

My name is Brenda, and I work at McDonald's. Can I interest you in our two-for-a-dollar apple pie deal?